Not In My Story!

So - I am just sitting here on a cold and snowy Saturday watching a terrible Lifetime Channel movie and reminding myself of all the kinds of things I never want to see happen in the stories I write. Not only is there absolutely no police involvement or concern over the kidnapped child that started the story, a woman just ran through several hallways of a hospital that apparently was empty because no one saw her or the man who was chasing her with a giant black handgun and silencer who had just shot another man in a hallway. After moving down a few floors they finally run past an orderly folding towels who watches the man with the gun run by in silence and no one calls for help! No one finds the dead guy in the hall or the knocked out cop until the scared nurse manages to kill the bad guy and his body is discovered at the bottom of a flight of stairs. But by the time that has happened she has already stolen his keys, gun and cell phone (left her phone at the scene), ran through a parking garage, frantic and crying with a gun in her hand!, clicking his remote until she manages to find his car and makes it out before they find the dead guy with the scalpel in his shoulder. Really?? 

Who has ever been to a hospital where hall after hall are empty, rooms are empty, nursing stations are empty? Who in a hospital wouldn't notice a nurse crying and running for her life while the bad guy chases behind her with gun drawn and not done something about it?? I get that you want your heroine to be the one to confront and take down the bad guy because you want to show she's strong and capable BUT COME ON! Oh, and of course the cop is the bad guy...Those are really the kind of things I try avoid when I write. I have no intention of writing True Crime, I know my stories are fiction and I know that I push the envelope of reality sometimes just like everyone else who writes fiction does, but I don't want to write thinking my readers or my characters are stupid. That's how I feel when I watch scenes like that. Like the writer thinks were to dumb to put together that none of that would ever happen. Ever.

So watching all of this unfold and telling myself that this not only reminded me that this is all stuff I never want to see happen in any of my police drama stories, it also reminded me that I needed to do a book club blog! I have decided to blog book reviews for the next year of book club. Last night was a different kind of book club for me because the book we read was the not-yet-published book called The Myth Maker, which was written by me. My mom hosted the evening and even though crazy snow fall cancelled the trip for a few of the ladies we had a good turn out and one out-of-stater who Skyped in. I was a little more than giddy about the idea of getting feedback from a group of actual readers - even if I was related to half of them. If you haven't read the book you might not want to continue because whether or not any spoilers will be typed out is unknown yet.

It took me forever to write the small synopsis for the back of the book copy I had created for the ladies of the book club, so I'm going to use it here..."After eight years with the Metro Police Department, Kathryn Lang is enjoying her role as the new girl on the Violent Crimes Unit. Kat has almost mastered balancing life as a detective, the craziness of her close knit family and the growing expectations of her long-time boyfriend Nicky. But when a carefree dance teacher is murdered in her own home, Portland's newest detective is assigned to the biggest case of her career. Working with her partner and close friend, Bryan Ramirez, Kat finds herself with unwanted suspects, a growing body count, and clues that seem to only compound the mystery. After the case takes an urgent turn, can Kat and her team put together the pieces before it's too late?"

My goal was to make a police story with characters you wanted to read about, female leads who were comfortable being women and also with their career choices and men who were comfortable with them as women. I wanted to write a story that could portray an investigation in a real enough way without losing sight of the idea that it was still a story of fiction. I wanted people to not just like, but care about the people they were reading about. And I wanted to do all of this without any of the regular cliches that tend to be worked in over and over again from one detective novel to the next. I think I succeeded at least in that last bit by the fact that more than one person was surprised by the fact that SPOILER ALERT, neither the partner or the boyfriend were the bad guy and ANOTHER SPOILER ALERT, the little sister doesn't end up targeted as a victim. I figured long ago that that had been done enough.

People had some good recommendations on how to improve on the story - different things they think they would have liked to see - and some of those are definitely going to be added before I declare this first story done. I got an idea of where it worked and where things might be a little slow. I was elated to hear that at least some of the readers found themselves emotionally invested in the people they were reading about and were concerned about where the plot was taking them. Most importantly, people wanted to read more, which makes me more determined than ever to finish the second story.

I know that doesn't count too much as a "review" of the book - I don't know it's possible for me to actually write a review about what I've written. The next reviews will be more along those lines, starting with February's book - The Timekeeper by Mitch Albom. Gotta love Book Club!

Man of a Million Dreams? A Book Review of Sorts

Alright, I know I haven't finished my road trip blog. What can I say? Vacations are just a hot button for me right now, writing about it didn't make me feel better, so now I'm moving on...I've decided to do some book reviews. Why not? And, if I am going to do a book review why not review last months book club book - "50 Shades of Grey"? I can't review this months book, "The History of Love" because I haven't quite finished it yet. By Friday!

On to the craze that is 50 Shades of Grey, and more confusing, the obsession over the make-believe man, Christian Grey. When Sinnamon (not her real name, but I love using it for her!) picked 50 Shades as her book choice I was intrigued. For weeks the book and it's subject matter were everywhere. They were talking about it on TV, online; Barnes & Noble was sending me emails letting me know when it was back in stock even though I had never asked. We needed to read it, right? I downloaded all three because it was a bargain and started reading...

Within the first few pages I knew it was not going to be the fantastic read I was expecting. The characters were awkward and somewhat annoying so I didn't feel connected to them, which is never a good sign. Even more on my nerves was the writing style of the author. I knew from all of the hub-bub about the book that it was her first book, but; after getting started her repetitive style and over use of the thesaurus was as annoying as her characters started to be. I can barely get myself to type the word but honestly, if I never read the word "beguile" again it will be too soon. It's hard when you're writing to always find a creative way to express the feelings of your characters but picking words so far out of "real use" English only makes the words stand out to your readers. And Anastasia and Christian were both "beguiled" and "flushed" so often I kind of was concerned. This bit actually made me do a run through of my own writing to make sure I hadn't over-used anything as annoying as "beguile".

Like everyone else, I read through the first million pages waiting to get to what everyone had been talking about. No one can deny it - we all read it because someone said naughty sex. I read through the painful conversations, the awkward moments at the hardware store, the silly scene at the bar with the girl who supposedly couldn't hold her liquor but then drank throughout the rest of the book without incident. When I finally got to "it", "it" was not what I expected. Besides being a tad technical, I was so disappointed! I have no idea what it says about me but I can tell you when I got through the first "scene" my first thought was that I have read better. I wanted more heat, I guess? More passion? More something! Maybe I'll just blame it all on J.R. Ward for giving me the Black Dagger Brotherhood. There are scenes in those books much steamer and much less deja vu feeling than anything I got from Shades! AND! There are TEN Brotherhood books. :) There are sensual lovers and if you want the naughty bits there is V - another guy who likes to tie people up.

My biggest question at the end of the trilogy was why has a character like Christian Grey become the dream man for so many women? Yes, he's apparently rich as hell, and sexy as hell, and there is that bad boy/dangerous element but what is it that makes him so dreamy? If we took away the money and the driver - who, by the way, seemed to be there a lot more for Anastasia when it mattered than Christian was and was better at the little things like picking out clothes for her - would we still think he was that spectacular? Even if he was good looking but not the richest man in the world and he was dating your best friend, would you be okay sitting around with them while he told her how much she needed to eat, whether or not she could twist her fingers(really, is that sexy?), and interfered ridiculously with her career?

Do we not all think we would softly encourage our best friend to ditch the bossy douche bag? Between disastrous high school relationships to what some get themselves into in their twenties, we've all either experienced it or watched it. We've been out with a girlfriend who needed to check in. A lot. We've been out with the girl friend and the new guy who watched too closely what she was eating, concerned himself too much with what she had on, who she talked to when he wasn't around. Not many of us have found that endearing for very long in real life and just about as many of us were willing to say to that best friend, in one way or another, you deserve better than this. And we meant it. Would we really have looked the other way if his bank account had more O's than a bowl of Cheerios?

When we started the book we thought our discussion would focus on all of the talk about the sex. The outrage and concern over women reading the naughty stuff. One review Sinnamon pointed out even went so far as to accuse the book of "promoting rape culture" and after reading all three I can say I didn't see that at all. There is nothing of the naughty stuff that happens without the consent of both adults involved. The naughty stuff in this book might be more than some people are comfortable with but I don't see a little bit of bondage as the bad guy in this story, nor is it any hotter than a million other reads out there. I am much more alarmed by the number of women who apparently want to give up all say-so in their lives and give control over to the hot guy who is just so good at telling them what they should do in bare feet and grungy jeans left over from 1994. Or is it the resemblance to a different wealthy, brooding, bossy pants, just a little more sparkly, that makes these women swoon? I really want to know.

Tales From a 6 Day Road Trip...Part 1



Road Trip! I know there are a few out there who love that idea. I have to admit I'm not one of them. Actually, people who know me well will tell you I have a hard time with trips period, but road trips really not usually my thing. That changed when my husband and I were looking at flights for our trip to Minnesota to see a dear friend retire from the Air Force. After nine years of friendship I couldn't imagine not going out to see her say goodbye to her twenty year career, so I was determined to make it out there. I didn't think there would be much to booking a flight out there for a weekend. I was wrong. Even months in advance the airlines wanted almost (and for some flights more!) than what we paid to fly to Ireland a few years ago. Finding out that we could rent a car and drive for about what they were going to charge us for one ticket, we decided to save the money. So...Road trip!

Now, I am not a fantastic traveler. I guess it would be most accurate to say leaving home usually makes me go a little bit on the crazy side. Others who have had to travel with me might say it's a little more than a little bit. Family trips stopped for me around the age of 13 because my parents came to the conclusion that it wasn't worth it to make me go. Even as an adult, almost every trip has been proceeded by at least one freak out. This time around was no different. Wednesday afternoon I called the whole trip off while some good friends looked on when I found out Budget Rent-a-Car(yes, I'm naming names.) had screwed up our reservation. Never mind that we'd booked the car a month before, they told my husband that they didn't really have the mid-range, fuel efficient car we'd booked. And when I took a turn calling they weren't even all that sorry. After a fight with the sales girl who tried to convince me that a Jeep Grand Cherokee gets the same "or at least comparable" gas mileage as a Ford Fusion, I called the hubby and said "Fuck it. This is a sign we shouldn't go". Luckily for all involved he's used to these types of freak outs from me and he ignored me. By that evening he had picked up a last minute rental - thank you Hertz - and I'd downed some liquor, so the trip was back on and we proceeded to pack. (Always, always do that last minute. I don't know why. Went to bed with clothes in the dryer!)

HITTING THE ROAD - DAY ONE:
We loaded ourselves up in the rental car, grabbed some coffee and breakfast, and started off. I was incredibly happy to have a rental car at all because I did not want to put the equivalent of a drive to New York on my new Explorer. I did miss my car a little bit though. The little Chevy Malibu wasn't bad. We were only the second renter so the car still kind of had "New Car Smell" rather than the overly sanitized "Rental Car Smell". I did have to laugh over the strings of glue coming out of the door handle on my side  and the hubby was annoyed by the shiny "chrome" button in the middle of the dash that reflected light back into his eyeballs throughout the morning drive, but it still beat putting the miles on our car. Or driving a Jeep. Or not going. Believe it or not I really did want to make it to Minnesota. But note to Chevy designers - ditch the reflective fake chrome on your dash.







The ride of the car was fine - better than I expected really. It took awhile to get used to being so low to the ground, but the road was smooth and the road noise was quite minimal the hubby said. Road noise isn't something I usually care about. When I'm alone or with just the oldest kid, the music is loud enough to make road noise a non-issue. And we're usually singing along because everyone knows we all sound awesome in the car. Everyone but the hubby, that is, who really doesn't care for singing in the car. We were able to find a good volume, bounced around the satellite radio selections and hit the road. We started on the beautiful drive up Parley's Canyon - good music, good coffee. Life was good. Then we hit Wyoming...

I'm sorry to the residents of all the states I may offend here, but I'm just going to be honest. Driving through the state of Wyoming sucks! We had driven through a bit of Wyoming before, on our way to Colorado, but this time we were stuck on a 2 lane highway with tons of construction for hours! The construction was most aggravating because in many areas that took us down to one lane, they taunted us with the pristine closed of section of perfect new road, all roped off with orange. Don't get me wrong though - construction is not what makes this section of Wyoming bad. This part of Wyoming makes Wyoming bad. For miles and miles of driving there is nothing to see but dead grass. We pretty much spent the entire day looking at this.... 


Wyoming....for hours.....

Except when we were looking at this....

Truckers enjoying being stopped for construction in Wyoming.

This stretch of the journey was so empty that at one point I realized we hadn't even passed any road kill. Apparently nothing wants to live out there! After a few hours, we had sucked down the coffee and collected enough bugs across the windshield to require a stop, so we hit a little gas station. I wish I could tell you where but all I can say is we were in Wyoming. Waaayyyy into Wyoming. The hubby filled the tank and washed windows while I "used facilities" (reluctantly). I had to do a double take when I went back outside. The old local parked next to us sat in his truck, at the pump, window down, sucking away on a cigarette while waiting for his wife who was still (quite loudly) using the "facilities". A little on edge because I was on the road, and a little terrified because of my genetic ability to see all forms of danger, I immediately jumped into an "F" word tirade about being blown up that Gordon Ramsey would have been proud of. The hubby realized I was agitated but not why, so all he said was "What?" - this of course meant I had to repeat myself! The old man didn't seemed too share my concern. Or maybe he wasn't too aware that I was talking about him - I can't say. I can say that by some miracle none of us blew up and we hit the road again!

There is something amazing about Wyoming that I imagine everyone who has ever driven through there has noticed. The moment you reach the border of the next state you can tell. Even before we came to the "Welcome to South Dakota" sign we knew we were finally out of Wyoming. It's like the scenery suddenly comes to life - there are trees and green stuff, hills started to appear - it's amazing.  Check it out if you don't believe me; you can even see it on Google Maps 3D! And the beginning of South Dakota was quite beautiful. We drove through the Black Hills area towards our first stop, Mount Rushmore. The whole idea of Mount Rushmore has never made sense to me. I didn't care one way or another if we stopped for it, but the hubby said he wanted to mark it off his list, so we stopped. What surprised me the most about Rushmore once we got there was the size of the monument. It's so much smaller than I thought it was! I wasn't overwhelmed by anything as we stood in the visitors area and snapped some pictures while little kids ran around, and two old guys talked about Sturgis. Our 15 minutes at Mount Rushmore was all I could see anyone spending there, but the mountains were pretty and now that it's off the list we never have to go back. :)


Hello South Dakota! This is the instant change I was talking about. No, we didn't visit The Flintstones.

So - I was a little underwhelmed by Rushmore like I said. I only snapped one picture. I know there are a few more on the real camera but here's what I got. It was really about this impressive...Maybe it was because I'd been in a car for 10 hours by this time, but either way it's been checked off the list.

Yeppers - that's it.

Unfortunately, the rest of South Dakota is not as pretty as the Black Hills. It's no where near as bad as Wyoming, but the Black Hills were beautiful and lush and winding although oddly littered with billboards. Throughout the rest of SD we did see a lot of cows and some antelope, but mostly just flat land and slow drivers. Drivers in that part of the country really seem to be in no hurry which did not mesh with the hubby's driving style. He had somewhere to be and needed to get there. Everyone else just seemed out enjoy the drive.(It was the first trip I've seen max AND minimum speed limits at every post!) Eventually though we made our way to our first hotel, which was awesome. Not just because the room was nice, but because I wanted to know we were landed for at least a bit. I was also really hungry. I get so anxious to get to the next stop that stopping in between becomes unnecessary. Other than our Micky D's breakfast and some Pringles from the gas station, we hadn't had anything to eat.

Rapid City was a...well...an interesting little stop. The people were friendly. The high school mascot is a "Cobbler" which is even worse than my "Beet Digger". The place has a typical small town feel and a cute main street from what we could tell by the time we got down there. I'm not going to name the spot we stopped at for dinner because it really wasn't very good other than the coffee. The coffee was awesome. I was a little surprised by a few things - teens in swimwear playing in the fountains at the town center for one. Hubby and I agreed if we were to tell our teens; "Hey, put on your suits, let's go play in the fountains downtown." they'd tell us no. The other thing that took my by surprise was how busy The Walmart was at 11:00pm on a Thursday! We had to stop by for some meds that I forgot to bring along and the place was packed! It seemed like this was where the teens went when the were done getting wet.

Around midnight we were finally cleaned up and in bed. Day one of our road trip behind us. Another ten around drive ahead.

Why moms deserve more than a day and a few other bits...

So - I haven't blogged for a bit. Between everything else going on and an elbow that is trying to kill me I've been using up my typing moments for work and the novel. Today though, I'm going to blog even if it's just a little one...

First, Mother's Day was last weekend and maybe its because I'm the mom of a teenager right now and that in itself is making me feel picked on, I've been thinking that one day is less than we deserve. Mother's Day should be Mother's week, and nice employers should consider giving a day or two off. Days off that no one else in the house would be allowed to take off. I mean, really, folks lets break things down; Fathers get a day and I'm not taking away from their parenting duties (that I will save for another blog.) but lets get real. Their effort in making baby starts with sex and ends with an orgasm. I just don't feel bad for you boys. For women orgasm is optional. What's not usually optional is the instant mood swings, weight gain, stretch marks, and months of hurling. Literally. For some of the lucky ones adventure of pregnancy also includes growing noses and IV poles as home decor.  After the months of pregnancy fly by you get to go through delivery and baby blues and then having every move you make with your new bundle of joy judged - usually by other moms! Where is the love here, ladies? Where is the unity? But you know what? We all make it through. We figure things out as we go, we deal with diapers and puke and tired toddler tantrums until that morphs into dirty dishes, dirty laundry, and moody teenage tantrums. And for this we get a day? We need more, I say. At least a week. Maybe starting Monday...

Second, Let's all agree that it's ridiculous to argue whether or not two men should be married based on a quick blurb in some people's bible. I don't want to dwell on it too much but really - separation of church and state seems like it would automatically cover that one, since the bible argument seems to be the only one. Also, stop pretending that it all started as some holy union that us heathens are trying to tarnish. We all know it started out as men pawning of their daughters...

Third, I wan to say thank you to Mars Company and their Dove bar for their efforts to ensure people with nut allergies have a chance to enjoy chocolate. Because of them I got to see pictures of a really cute little boy I know have his first giant chocolate bar. No one should have to live without chocolate. I'm serious on that one. Potatoes and chocolate - everyone should have those.

And last, I love Betty White. Really, I do. I always loved Golden Girls and the hilarious stories of Rose. I always looked forward to being Blanche to my friend "Maureen's" Dorothy and "Dori's" Rose. I love that she's stayed funny and stayed active, and that she's gathered up her Old People Posse and launched her new show. Old people are effing funny.

What's on the Menu?

This week's menu was almost entirely inspired by the recipes I've pinned on my pinterest board. Nothing too complicated or all that time consuming. I've also realized that fish has become what comes to my mind when I try to think of an easy dinner, which has to be a good sign.

Monday - Sweet Potato Soup from delish.com. I was going to make a spicy sweet potato bisque but switched recipes after I decided spicy is not what I want today. And since I'm the one making the menus and doing the shopping and doing the cooking, I can change my mind like that.

Tuesday - Ginger Salmon over Bok Choy from delish.com

Wednesday - Crispy Citrus Chicken from thefitcook.com. This site also has a curry coconut chicken recipe that sounds awesome. I'm making this with lemon rice and wilted spinach.

Thursday - Orange-Soy beef with Asparagus from delish.com

Friday - French Toast with Fruit. A good ol' standby.

Saturday - BLT's with Cottage Cheese. Just sounds too easy for a Saturday evening after yard work.

Maybe it's...Maybelline?

Sometime the winter before last I decided to go back to buying the expensive cosmetics that I will not name here. I was convinced that it was going to be better, and I convinced myself I loved the foundation better. Then the foundation was gone and I decided I really didn’t love the mask-y feel and tried something else the same brand said was lighter and that never seemed to stick. Any touch to my skin left a transfer and I hate that. But I kept making those trips to the mall because they were suckering me in with free stuff. Soon, everything but my mascara was from the same little cosmetic counter. Then I found myself trying to thin everything out. Adding foundation to moisturizer so it would last longer so I wouldn’t have to keep spending the money – mostly because I can be kind of cheap – and then the idea of driving to the mall when I was already at Target seemed like such a pain in the ass….

Then I found an eye liner I wanted to try so I bought it in “Espresso” and I loved it so then I bought it in “Eggplant”. Coffee and Purple; go figure! The eyeliner is EyeStudio by Maybelline and it comes in a little glass pot with a fine tipped brush. When I first used eye liner this way a few years ago in a make-up artistry class I was in love with it. Especially because I have very round eyes and tend to go easy on the eyeliner, which with some pencil or liquid types can mean a lot of wet Q-tips and smudging. Because the pencils were usually easier to find and cheaper to buy that’s what I did. With the potted stuff I can control how heavy my liner is much easier. I really love this one; it goes on smooth and doesn’t feel gloopy. If they did a dark green I’d go there but right now they just have black, espresso, charcoal and eggplant and I mostly use my Espresso.

Then I bought new mascara I saw a commercial for. It actually wasn’t until today that I realized it too is a Maybelline product. This one is called Illegal Length and I bought it because of the idea of “Fiber Extensions” for my eyelashes and went to the store looking for the silver tube, which is how I do most of my make-up shopping, not paying attention to the fact that it was under the Maybelline sign. I like it better than the purple tube stuff people rave about and much better than the stiletto stuff that just seemed to clumpy on my lashes. I do feel like it makes my eyelashes look longer but it still keeps as much of a “natural” look as one can get while wearing “Blackest Black” mascara. It is not flaky and I haven’t had any clumping problems. I got about two months out of one tube and am ready to buy a new one and will buy a new one of this same kind which is rare for me. Make-up companies tend to trick me into trying new mascaras over anything else.

Then one night while wandering through Walgreen’s an eye shadow square that was displayed cleverly on an end-cap caught my attention. It was a group of greens and golds and the color is called “Forest Fury”. Just so you know, I love names of things like eye shadow, lipstick, and nail polish as much as I love people names, and sometimes pick between colors based on the name. “Forest Fury” won over the neutral tones of “Caffeine Rush” at first but I bought that one too and plan on adding “Amethyst Ablaze” next. And what do you know! These are EyeStudio by Maybelline as well! I like the versatility of the green colors. There is a bright green, a medium green and a dark green. I love the bright green at the office toned down with the white-gold over top. I like the sparkle in the shadow but will admit my only complaint might be that maybe there is too much sparkle? I notice sometimes I end up with it on my cheeks and in my bangs if I’m not careful.

It turns out the lip stain that I’ve been using forever is Color Sensational by Maybelline and the last three lip products I’ve bought have been Baby Lips, and a Super Stay 10 hour gloss and 14 hour lipstick all by Maybelline in different colors. The foundation I’m currently in love with is the Air Foam by – you guessed it – Maybelline! I’m also using their Bouncy Mouse blush (which I admit I bought just so I could play with it after seeing the commercial.) Bottom line is that Maybelline seems to have become my cosmetic counter, quite by accident! I would say it’s worth it to try any of the products listed here and if you don’t like it you can send it to me, I’m sure I will. (Maybelline is not giving me anything to say these things, just to be clear, but wouldn’t that be cool?)

In for a quicky...

I used to carry around a lot of writing ideas in my head until I could sit down and write them down. I think I've lost a lot of good dialogue that way. Then I started carrying a cute little notebook around in my purse for spare time scribble moments. Then I found Evernote on my handy dandy smart phone and started adding stuff there, so I pretty much still have stuff scattered from here 'til Tuesday and the whole point of this one is to make a note for a line I might want to use again someday! Just responded to a woman who told me to stop using the government as my own "personal sugar daddy" and write my own checks if I want contraceptives - I told her "The government has never given me anything I haven't paid for first." and I want to remember than just in case. I should have added "Who writes checks anymore?" but oh well...I'm sitting here working on the novel and my phone with the handy dandy app is all the way upstairs so that is the whole point of this note...